If you're a woman over 18, you've probably been to a bridal shower or two (or three), and you may have even hosted one. I feel like I'm at that age where I can't go a week without hearing about someone getting engaged. With more and more of my friends tying the knot, I'm taking on the role of hosting more bridal showers.
Bridal showers are one of the best perks of being a bride. I mean, it's pretty much day all about you, without the heavy wedding dress, stress of making the day perfect and the husband, of course. For brides, this day is extremely important, which means that the hostess has a lot to live up to when throwing a shower. I co-hosted my first shower a few weeks ago and am excited to share all of my planning tips and bridal shower etiquette.
Who throws a bridal shower?
Bridesmaids, friends of the bride, distant family members or family friends can all throw a bridal shower! The only people who can't throw a bridal shower are the bride herself (duh), the mother of the bride or sisters of the bride. Those people are already planning a pretty big party (the wedding) and shouldn't be burdened with a shower as well. If a mother or sister of the bride offers to help with the shower, let them be involved, but never have them contribute financially.
Bridal showers typically have several hostesses, but this isn't required. If you want to throw a bridal shower all by yourself, then go right ahead. However, if you find yourself with multiple hostesses, try out these tips!
How do invitations work?
Since the bridal shower is thrown in honor of the bride, she gets to decide the final guest list. However, the hostesses may set a limit on how many people can be invited. A bride should not invite 60 women to a shower held in her friend's tiny apartment. Also, be considerate of the number of people you're inviting because your hostesses have to provide them all with food and party favors. Expenses add up.
Once the guest list has been finalized, hostesses work with a printer to create the invitation and mail it out to everyone. Pick an invitation design that can be carried into the rest of your shower decor. For our shower, we chose an invitation with pink floral design and carried that theme into our minimal decorations. Also, no e-vites allowed! Bridal showers deserve a formal invitation sent in the mail, not a clip-art e-vite that took you three minutes to create. Along with the obvious date, time and location, a bridal shower invitation should indicate the places the bride is registered as well as a list of the hostesses (in alphabetical order).
What food and drink do I serve?
We planned for 25 guests and added the pink flowers on top of the cake ourselves to tie in with the rest of the decor.
The easy answer: Anything you want! I would recommend sticking with finger foods and not preparing too many different items. Your guests will be so busy watching the bride open gifts and chatting with one another that they won't be too focused on stuffing their faces. We served caprese skewers, fruit skewers, frittata, chicken salad croissants, crostini, white chocolate covered pretzels (with gold sparkles) and of course, cake. We had tons of food left over, so probably could have done without at least one of the items.
Also, try to think of items that can be prepared the night before. We put together the fruit skewers and made the chocolate-covered pretzels and chicken skewers the night before the shower. This way, all we had to do on the morning of the shower was construct the caprese skewers, stuff the chicken salad croissants, make the frittata and spread the crostini. It sounds like a lot, and it was, but every little bit you can get done ahead of time makes a difference.
As for bridal shower drinks, you've got to have a champagne bar. For your non-alcoholic beverages, water and tea are all you need in the South. Soda and coffee are also nice options for your caffeine-obsessed guests, but not required. Now, let's get back to the champagne bar! Obviously you know the main ingredient, but you can't forget different juice options or frozen fruit. Orange juice is a classic standby, but offer a second, more out-of-the-box option. Pictured above is pomegranate raspberry juice from Trader Joe's- delicious! Also, I love to pair my bridal shower champagne and juice with frozen grapes, raspberries and strawberries. You can either buy the pre-frozen bags or freeze fresh fruit overnight. The fruit is delicious and makes your champagne glass even more beautiful.
Does the bride bring a hostess gift?
This is not required, but definitely appreciated! At the bridal shower I co-hosted, the mother of the bride brought small gifts for the hostesses. We didn't expect a thing, but it's always nice to bring a small gift as a token of your appreciation. Candles, bottles of wine or anything of that nature will do the job! Just think, if you're going to someone's house for dinner or a regular party, you would probably bring a hostess gift, so why treat a bridal shower differently?
Do I have to give out party favors?
I have a hard time telling you that party favors are required, but they are expected. Don't despair, though! Party favors can be cheap and easy to make. For this shower, we handed out champagne glasses with each guest's monogram and small bags of candy. The monograms are actually stickers, but you could write on monograms with a gold pen for a similar effect. Each guest used their favor at the shower itself, and it was a nice touch. Champagne glasses as favors have the added benefit of removing some of your clean-up. If each guest takes home their glass, then there are fewer dishes for you to wash!
The party favors were displayed, with a framed shower invitation, in the foyer so that guests could easily grab them as they came into the shower or as they left. One my co-hosts gave the added touch of putting a special ribbon around the bride's glass. Anything to make her stand out and feel special!
What do I wear?
You can pretty much wear anything as long as it isn't white (the girl in all white in this photo is the bride)! Nice jeans, cute dresses or even jumpsuits are all appropriate for a bridal shower. Since showers are typically held in the morning or afternoon, it also isn't an overly formal affair. Heels are not required (I wore boots). My typical go-to bridal shower outfit is a cute dress. If I'm a bridesmaid, I usually try to match my dress to the color of the bridesmaids' dresses, but did not in this case.
Do I bring a gift to a shower I'm hosting?
I actually got this question during the bridal shower I recently hosted. The short answer is no! You are already giving your time and money to throw the shower, and that should be gift enough. However, if you don't want to show up empty handed, it is still appropriate to bring a small gift. This does not mean you need to scan the registry for a $20 pizza slicer! Look outside the registry for something that reminds you of the bride but will also be useful for the new couple. Celebratory bottles of wine or champagne are always classic options if you aren't feeling creative or are in a time crunch.
Manners Moral: Ideally your friend will only get married once, and therefore will have a limited number of bridal showers. If you end up hosting one, remember that it's all about honoring the bride and her upcoming big day. Plan well in advance in order to put on a beautiful event that everyone will remember.