Being a hostess is the perfect role for a true social butterfly. You're in charge, you're the center of attention (most of the time) and all of the praise for a perfect party is sprinkled on you. However, planning a party by yourself can be also overwhelming. Invitations, preparations, purchases and entertaining (read small talk) all fall on your shoulders when you're the sole hostess.
This brings up a valid question: Do multiple hostesses actually make the job easier or more difficult? That's a tough one to answer. Last weekend, I hosted a bridal shower with two of my close friends and fellow bridesmaids, and it definitely had its positives and negatives. For now, let's focus on the pros, because I'm a glass half full kinda gal. However, keep in mind that the process isn't all fun and games. If you find yourself sharing the role of hostess with the mostess with one or more people, try out these helpful tips.
All of the hostesses and our beautiful bride at the bridal shower I helped throw last weekend. This picture makes it look easy.
Pros of Multiple Hostesses
- Shared Finances: Parties are expensive. Invitations, food, drink, favors, decorations- the list of everything you need to host a party goes on and on. Having multiple hostesses means you get to divvy up the cost of everything and make it more manageable.
- Tip: Make sure everyone keeps all of their receipts and settle everything up either before the party begins or right after it's over. That way, you have everyone in one place and no one feels like they're paying more than their fair share. The easiest way to divvy up the costs is to add up the total of everything purchased and divide by the number of hostesses. That's the amount that each person should pay. Then, figure out what each person has already paid and balance out accordingly.
- Help with prep/ clean-up: We've all felt the stress of rushing around the house trying to get ourselves ready and the party ready at the same time. We had six hands on deck at our party and still had people running around with wet hair 20 minutes before guests began arriving. With multiple hostesses, there are plenty of hands on deck to help set up an event and tear it down once everyone has left. You'll feel less pressure and can enjoy the day even more knowing that you aren't the only one responsible.
- Tip: Before everyone arrives for party prep, outline who is going to handle which tasks. For example, Jill is responsible for making the fruit skewers, while Mary is going to set up the flower arrangements. This eliminates people awkwardly standing around, not knowing what to do. Also, take advantage of being with your good friends and turn prep and clean-up into social events. Having fun and enjoying yourself will up the vibe for the main event.
- Share the Small Talk Burden: Small talk is hard for anyone, especially when you're forced to talk to someone that you don't really know. Having multiple hostesses means you can always bring someone else in on a conversation and not feel guilty about it. It's not like you're leaving a guest high and dry with chatty Aunt Shirley. A hostess signs up for that kind of difficulty.
- Tip: Alternate who mans the front door and who mans sedentary stations like the gift table or champagne bar. This way, no one person is stuck making all of the small talk. Also, if you notice your fellow hostess caught in a long-winded conversation, help them out by taking over yourself or politely pull them away for some important party task. Everyone will understand that you need help re-stocking the chicken salad sandwiches.
- Sharing the Love: Especially in the case of a bridal or baby shower, having multiple hostesses makes the party honoree feel even more loved and cherished. Not only do they have one friend willing to give up their time and money to celebrate them, they have two, three or even four (lucky ducks)!
- Tip: Obviously, make sure that every hostesses' name is on the invitation and give everyone a specific job (food table, greeter/handing out favors, champagne bar, etc.). Let everyone know that you are all sharing the role of hostess and each doing your part to make your friend's day extra special. Also, never tell the guest of honor, or anyone for that matter, how stressful the prep process was or how little effort one of the hostesses made.
- Different Opinions: You may think that the bridal/baby/birthday banner you saw on Pinterest is the most unique decoration you've ever seen. However, if you're hosting a party with several other people, one of your friends is sure to point out the fact that it's cheesy and overdone. This is only a good thing, I promise. It may hurt your feelings at the time, but multiple opinions on party decor, food and planning help ensure that your event is truly a one-of-a-kind experience.
- Tip: Have an initial meeting to discuss everyone's likes and dislikes. Then, once all of the opinions are out on the table, plan out which aspects everyone wants to use and which aspects are better kept on a private Pinterest board. If one person feels like their voice isn't being heard, it can throw off the entire planning process, so be sure to listen to everyone before making any decisions.
Manners Moral: Sharing the hostess role can relieve a lot of pressure and turn the entire planning process into a party in its own right. Remember to respect everyone's opinions, designate roles and act like a team or your event will look like a lot of tiny parties thrown together, rather than the amazing soiree it was meant to be.