Last week I wrote about the benefits of having multiple hostesses for an event such as a bridal shower. However, sharing the role with several other people can be much more difficult than it looks. All of a sudden, you're dealing with other visions, schedules and personalities- all things that can't be taken lightly. I've co-hosted parties before, and they always present certain struggles. However, I like to think that I've figured out ways to combat even the most difficult of hostessing situations. Spoiler alert: it all boils down to patience and stepping out of the spotlight (but just a little).
Be careful when you're sharing the hostess role. You could end up holding someone else's weight (yes, pun intended).
Cons of Multiple Hostesses & How to Overcome Them
- Sharing the Spotlight: If you love being in control or the center of attention, then you'll probably want to shy away from having multiple hostesses at your next event. When you bring in other hostesses, you aren't the only one calling the shots and you're definitely not the only one being praised for a beautiful party This can really be great because it takes a lot of the pressure off, but it also means that every single bit of work you put into a party may not be recognized. And, that's life. If you're only in it for the recognition, then you should probably just throw a birthday party for yourself.
- Tip: Make sure that everyone has a role during the party that lets them shine. Appoint a greeter, someone to be in charge of the food and drink and someone to walk around and make sure that each guest has everything they need.
- Group Texts/ Multiple Opinions: I've never felt more popular or more irritated than when I find myself in an active group text. I leave my phone for 30 minutes to go to a meeting and return to 27 messages and no idea what is going on. When planning a party with several people, the group text is taken to a different level. You've got one person texting about the type of food they're buying from the grocery store and someone else weighing in on whether to have light pink or baby pink flowers for the tables. It's a forum where a lot of different topics and opinions can be thrown out with no restraint.
- Tip: Take charge of the group text and make everyone stick to one topic at a time. If someone is currently in the grocery store, then handle all questions about food before you move on to the party favors. Send wrap-up texts that reiterate all of the decisions made in that day's group text to ensure that everyone is on the same page. It can get tricky, but someone has to be in control.
- Difficulty Scheduling: When you host a party by yourself at your own home, scheduling is easy. You go shopping, plan and prep on your own time, without any thought to others. However, throw a few extra hostesses into the mix and everything is thrown out of whack. Two of you may be able to meet up with a bakery for the cake, but one of you may have to work. On the other hand, only one of you may have time to hit the grocery store, pick up the flowers or locate the perfect brunch plates. It's a true balancing act to figure out who has time to accomplish certain things.
- Tip: Be open to splitting up the tasks. If you wait until everyone has time, you'll have to push back the date of the party. If one of you can't make it to the cake-tasting, it's going to be okay, I promise. I had to miss our bakery appointment due to work and never once doubted the decision-making skills of my friends. If you absolutely can't let go of control or don't trust the people you're hosting with, then make your schedule flexible so that you can make every appointment. It's rude to hold back everyone else and the party's progress simply because you can't let go.
- Someone Taking on Too Much: It's a fact, when you're co-hosting a party, there is always going to be one person that takes on more responsibility than everyone else. Usually this is the person who is offering up their house or apartment as the venue, but that's not always the case. Someone taking on more responsibility is natural because there has to be someone in charge (I'm hoping you didn't think that party planning was a complete democracy). However, this can take a turn for the worse when the pressure starts to mount up and they either turn into a dictator or start letting things fall through the cracks.
- Tip: Make yourself available to help as much as possible and always offer to do any task, no matter how small or large. When you're the one taking on too much responsibility, learn to delegate. Let your other hostesses earn the role. If one hostess does turn into a dictator, don't be afraid to put them in their place and explain that everyone deserves to have their opinions heard.
- Deciding the Order on Invitations: This issue is number 5 because I have a hard time imagining it is a prevalent or important problem. On an invitation, the names of all hosts or hostesses should definitely be listed, in alphabetical order. If EVERYONE is in agreement that the hostess whose house you are using should be listed first, then that is fine. But to save a lot of time and trouble, simply list the names alphabetically.
- Tip: When a conversation comes up about the invitation, be the first to speak up and lay down the law for the alphabetical hostess order. If anyone puts up a fight, remind them that no one receiving an invitation actually cares about who is listed first.
Manners Moral: Sharing the hostess role can take away some of the party pressure, but it's important to remember that it has its challenges as well. Make sure to take everyone's opinions into account and you're sure to have a smooth, successful event. Also, patience is a virtue and even more important when hosting a party.