I've been devouring classic Russian literature recently (i.e. Turgenev, Gogol, Chekhov and Dostoevsky) and cannot get over how many basic etiquette lessons lie within these political, philosophical and psychological books. I'll admit, they can look a little daunting, and there are definitely some parts where I get lost, but overall, they are a great study in how people of this culture live and interact with one another.
Below are some of my notable quotables from the three Russian classics I've finished in the past few weeks. As always, many of them come with a side of sassy commentary.
This may not be your typical poolside read, but you can't knock it until you try it!
Fathers and Sons- Ivan Turgenev
"... a fellow who stakes his whole life on one card- a woman's love- and when that card fails, turns sour, and lets himself go till he's fit for nothing, is not a man, but a male," (p. 30). Pretty much, this describes the etiquette of a breakup. Get over it or give up your man card.
"I wish only to tell you that aristocracy is a principle, and in our days none but immoral or silly people can live without principles," (p. 45).
"Time, it is well known, sometimes flies like a bird, sometimes crawls like a worm; but man is wont to be particularly happy when he does not even notice whether it passes quickly or slowly," (p. 83).
"I'll tell you this- to my mind, it's better to break stones on the highroad than to let a woman have the mastery of even the end of one's little finger," (p. 103). But really, we all know that if you give woman mastery of something, she's going to knock it out of the park. Probably spoken by someone with an inferiority complex.
Ward No. 6 & Other Stories- Anton Chekhov
"... there is no one with softness and refinements, they are just like peasants. They all speak loudly, and tramp heavily when they walk; they are noisy, they clear their throats..." (Easter Eve). Learn to use your inside voice, walk quietly in heels and keep your bodily functions to yourself.
"From her beautiful majestic smile, which instantly vanished from her face every time she turned away from her guests,... if she invited them to her house and apologized for doing nothing more, it was only because her breeding and position in society required it of her," (The Kiss). If you're a hostess, suck it up and put on a great party.
"... probably because people are far more sincere and good-humored at speeding their parting guests than on meeting them..." (The Kiss). We all love to throw parties, but once our guests arrive, we can't wait for them to leave. If you're too willing to get your guests out of your home, think twice before hosting another party.
"A person who does not feel the difference between a human being and a lap-dog ought not to go in for philanthropy," (The Princess).
Dead Souls- Nikolai Gogol
"He spoke neither too loud nor too low, but exactly as he ought. Take him how you would, he was a thoroughly gentlemanly man," (p. 16). Again with the focus on using your inside voice. Turns out the lessons you learned in preschool are actually pretty valuable.
"Allow me not to excuse you... This easy chair is always assigned to my guests; whether you like it or not you must sit in it," (p. 31). I completely understand this concept. I'm starting to look for furniture, and if I pay a lot of money for a 'guest chair,' guests better sit in it all the time.
"It must be said that if we in Russia have not caught up with foreigners in other things, we have far outstripped them in the knowledge of how to behave. All the shades and subtleties of our manners cannot be counted," (p. 48).
"You won't find any one in the world nowadays that isn't insulting," (p. 284). True, but probably because most people are so easily insulted nowadays.
Manners Moral: Chekhov, Gogol and Turgenev were exploring philosophical, political and psychological issues in their books, but I decided to only focus on the etiquette lessons. For a short wrap-up: Use your inside voice, commit yourself to being a great hostess, don't be too loud and make sure you pick out a very nice guest chair for your living room.